you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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