elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
