I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
