1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
