I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
