Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
they're like a gay fantastic four
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
