bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
