He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
