You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
