so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
please come you make the beer taste better
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought