they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.