Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
