Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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