HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I want her autograph on my taint
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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