She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize