I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
