not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
