I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
