Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize