I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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