drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
