Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
