My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
