If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
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I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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