That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
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you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
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You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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