try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
