I don't think brook has ever known best
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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