I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
