I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
