Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
