Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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