those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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