you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
