Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
