38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
