Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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