home. puking in laundry basket.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
