They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
