Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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