I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
