I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
