Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
