she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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