Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
