I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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