There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
