Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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