I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Let's paint friendship bongs
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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