i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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