don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
