What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Please don't give away my fajitas
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
