what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
