Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
