every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
