They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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