I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
