I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
