I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
