Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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