Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
